Imago Relationship Therapy: Exploring and Healing Relationships

Imago Relationship Therapy (IRT) is a unique technique designed to guide couples and individuals in transforming conflict into healing and growth opportunities. Derived from the Latin word "imago," meaning "image," IRT focuses on the idea of an "unconscious image of familiar love."

The Development of Imago Relationship Therapy

Imago Relationship Therapy was developed in the late 1970s by Harville Hendrix, PhD, and Helen LaKelly Hunt, PhD. Motivated by their personal experiences with divorce and the lack of effective relationship support resources, they researched and developed an evidence-based model to facilitate healing and growth in committed relationships.

Types of Imago Therapy

Imago therapy is provided in two main forms:

1. Imago Therapy for Relationships:

Imago therapy proposes that early relationships shape individuals' understanding of love and identity. It suggests that partners often choose each other based on a sense of familiarity, which can trigger old emotional wounds. IRT aims to turn these wounds into opportunities for healing and growth within the relationship.

2. Imago Therapy for Individuals:

While primarily designed for committed relationships, Imago therapy can also benefit individuals. By engaging in Imago therapy, individuals can explore personal wounds and emotional raw spots that impact their relationships.

Key Techniques in Imago Therapy

A central aspect of Imago Relationship Therapy is the Imago dialogue, facilitated by a trained Imago therapist. The Imago dialogue aims to:

• Eliminate negative and hurtful language from communication
• Foster a safe emotional environment for sharing
• Create equal space for both partners, reducing power imbalances

Within the Imago dialogue, there are distinct roles: the "sender" and the "receiver."

• Sender: The individual actively shares thoughts and feelings.

• Receiver: The individual focuses on three steps:

• Mirroring: Repeating back what the partner has shared to ensure understanding and clarity.

• Validation: Acknowledging parts of the partner's sharing that make sense and resonate.

• Empathy: Sharing with the partner what they believe the other might be feeling.

These techniques are commonly employed in couples therapy to enhance communication.

Issues Addressed by Imago Therapy

Imago therapy is specifically designed to address challenges within relationships. It can offer support with:

• Communication problems
• Conflict and distress
• Lack of intimacy
• Infidelity
• Divorce
• Blended families
• Life transitions
• Trauma

Participating in Imago Relationship Therapy is not limited to addressing distress; couples who want to deepen their understanding of themselves and their partnership can also benefit from this approach.

Who Can Benefit from Imago Therapy?

Imago therapy is suitable for committed couples at any stage or season of their relationship. It can also benefit individuals who are dating and want to understand their relationship patterns, partner choices, and how to find and connect with a safe and healthy partner.

Benefits of Imago Therapy

Imago Relationship Therapy offers several advantages:

1. Understanding Early Attachments:

Imago therapy emphasizes the influence of early attachment experiences on adult relationships. By exploring these experiences, couples gain insights into how their childhood experiences shape their current relationships.

2. Conflict as an Opportunity for Growth:

Imago therapy embraces conflict and distress as opportunities for healing and growth. Instead of teaching couples how to avoid conflict, it encourages them to explore and learn from these moments.

3. Collaborative Approach:

Imago therapy is collaborative, with the therapist working alongside the couple to explore their dynamics and heal the relationship as a whole. The therapist facilitates conversations that foster learning and understanding between partners.

Research on the Effectiveness of Imago Therapy

Although Imago therapy is a relatively new approach, some research has explored its impact:

• A 2011 study highlighted Imago therapy's effectiveness in improving self-awareness, childhood experience understanding, and communication in couples.

• A 2017 study linked Imago therapy to increased empathy levels in relationships, contributing to positive changes.

• Another 2017 study found that 12 weeks of Imago therapy led to improvements in relationship satisfaction.

While these studies provide promising findings, more research on a larger scale is needed to further determine the efficacy of Imago therapy.

Considerations for Imago Therapy

Imago therapy may not be appropriate in situations involving domestic violence, active substance abuse, or other addictive behaviors. Addressing these issues may be necessary before engaging in Imago therapy.

Additionally, individuals who dislike structure may find the Imago dialogue restrictive and unnatural. It may also be unsuitable if a couple is uncertain about preserving the relationship.

Getting Started with Imago Therapy

There are two main ways to explore Imago therapy:

1. Workshops:

Various Imago therapy-based workshops are available, tailored to specific needs such as premarital couples, couples in distress, and individuals.

2. Therapy Sessions:

Imago-trained therapists offer therapy sessions, typically conducted one hour at a time, with additional services like intensives or retreats also available. These face-to-face sessions allow couples to explore their relationship dynamics and engage in the Imago dialogue to learn and heal.

Finding an Imago Therapist

If you're interested in Imago Relationship Therapy, you can find Imago-trained therapists and workshops through the Imago Relationships International website. The website provides resources to search for certified Imago relationship therapists in your area and discover workshop locations worldwide.