Obsessive Love Disorder: Can You Be Obsessed with Love?

Love is a strong emotion that people express for their partners, pets, friends, and family. However, when profound emotions or what appears to be love for an individual is coupled with a fixation or an intense desire to control another person, it could be obsessive love disorder (OLD).

Understanding Obsessive Love Disorder

OLD is a condition that leads to obsessive feelings that might be mistaken for love for another person. Individuals with OLD engage in these feelings, regardless of whether they're reciprocated.

OLD is not currently recognized as a mental health disorder in the "Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders" (DSM-5) because there is ongoing debate about its classification as a mental health condition.

Even though the DSM-5 doesn't currently provide criteria for OLD, it's a real-world condition that can significantly impair an individual's daily functioning if left untreated. Additionally, it can lead to dysfunctional relationships with the people they're in love with.

In extreme cases, OLD can pose a threat to the object of an individual's fixation, especially when feelings are not reciprocated.

Research suggests that OLD is more prevalent in women than in men.

Signs and Symptoms of Obsessive Love Disorder

Although OLD is not classified as a mental health condition, it has specific defining characteristics that can help identify the disorder:

• Constant need for validation from the person you're in love with
• Obsessive pursuit of contact with the subject of your affection
• Disregard for the personal boundaries of the subject of your affection
• Controlling behavior towards the person you love
• Intense jealousy of other relationships the person you love might have with others
• Overprotectiveness of the person you love
• Emotional overwhelm about a person that disrupts daily functioning
• Feelings of low self-esteem, especially when love seems unreciprocated
• Avoidance of social activities that don't involve the subject of your affection
• Possessiveness of the other person's time, space, and attention
• Need to control the actions and behaviors of the person you supposedly love
• Anxiety over the relationship with this person

Identifying Obsessive Love Disorder

There are no specific criteria for identifying OLD. However, if you display symptoms of the condition, your healthcare provider will conduct tests and interviews to rule out other mental health disorders.

OLD can often be a symptom of a mental health condition.

However, in cases where it doesn't coexist with another mental health condition, it can be challenging to identify. While some researchers advocate for the recognition of OLD as a mental health condition, others believe it doesn't fit the definition of a mental health disorder.

Causes of Obsessive Love Disorder

Since OLD is not classified as a mental health condition, it's difficult to identify a specific cause. However, it has been linked to other mental health disorders such as post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), and borderline personality disorder (BPD).

OLD has been identified more as a manifestation or sign of a pre-existing condition in individuals with these disorders.

Attachment disorders have been strongly associated with triggering OLD. Individuals with attachment disorders struggle to form healthy attachments to others, which affects their relationships and interactions with people.

For some individuals with an attachment disorder, the condition might cause them to feel distant from potential or current partners. Conversely, for others, an attachment disorder can lead to obsessive behavior towards people they form connections with.

Treatment for Obsessive Love Disorder

For individuals with OLD, treatment focuses on addressing any pre-existing conditions to alleviate symptoms.

In cases where OLD cannot be linked to another mental health condition, a healthcare professional will develop a tailored treatment plan, which may include medication, psychotherapy, or a combination of both.

In psychotherapy, a therapist will attempt to identify the root cause of the obsession, which could be a past traumatic relationship or a challenging breakup. The therapist will help you recognize your obsessive thoughts and behaviors and provide techniques to overcome them.

Coping with Obsessive Love Disorder

Coping with OLD can be challenging. However, it's important to seek professional help if you notice symptoms of OLD. Trying to manage it alone can be overwhelming and hinder your ability to improve.

Here are some tips for coping with OLD:

• Don't Dismiss Your Feelings: If you recognize that your affections towards another person are becoming obsessive, don't ignore these feelings, hoping they'll disappear. In most cases, they won't, and ignoring them will only intensify the situation.
• Identify Your Triggers: What situations or people worsen your obsessive thoughts and behaviors? Once you understand your triggers, you can avoid them or develop strategies for dealing with them.
• Seek Professional Help: If you're struggling to cope with OLD on your own, don't hesitate to seek professional help. A therapist can help you understand the condition and develop strategies for managing your symptoms.
• Group Therapy: If the triggers of OLD can be linked to attachment issues with family or friends, group therapy can be beneficial.
• Practice Self-Care: Make sure you prioritize your well-being by getting enough sleep, eating a balanced diet, and exercising regularly. These healthy habits will positively impact your physical and mental health.
• Talk to Someone You Trust: Share your feelings with a trusted friend, family member, or therapist. Talking about your emotions can help you process them and develop healthier coping mechanisms.