Deception in a relationship can involve behaviors such as making vague statements, only telling half the truth, minimizing facts, withholding information, or telling outright lies. Excessive lying can harm your relationship with your spouse.

Why People Lie in Relationships

People lie for various reasons, including:

• Avoiding conflict, embarrassment, or consequences
• Fear of rejection or losing their spouse
• Hiding something they did or did not do
• Maintaining control of a situation
• Making themselves look good

• Avoiding eye contact
• Being vague or offering few details
• Body language that is contradictory
• Body language that is unusual
• Continual defensiveness or denying of accusations
• Evasive answers or inconsistencies in what they say
• Perspiring on the brow
• Placing a barrier such as a desk or a chair in front of self
• Providing more information or specifics than is necessary or was asked for
• Saying "no" several times
• Smugness
• Stalling the conversation
• Unusual calmness
• Unusual voice fluctuations
• Unwillingness to touch spouse during a conversation

Impact of Deception on a Relationship

Lying can lead to:

• Decreased trust
• Diminished compassion and empathy
• Lower intimacy
• More lies and deception

How to Deal With Lying in a Relationship

• Rely on your instincts
• Set healthy expectations for honesty
• Pause to think before responding
• Ask direct questions or challenge what your spouse is saying

Should You Confront Deception in a Relationship?

Whether to confront deception depends on your specific situation.

Should You Forgive Your Partner?

Whether to forgive your partner is a personal choice.

When to Leave a Lying Partner

Consider ending the relationship if:

• Your partner doesn't express remorse for lying
• Your partner shows no willingness to change or seek help for their behavior

A Word From Verywell

Honesty is a healthier approach for a happy marriage.