Signs That Indicate a Relationship Could Turn Violent

Intimate partner violence is a serious issue that affects many relationships. While it's not always possible to tell whether a relationship might become violent, there are certain factors that can increase the risk.

Risk Factors for Physical Abuse in a Relationship

• Individual factors:

  • Aggressive behavior as a child or teen
  • Antisocial personality traits
  • Being insecure and emotionally dependent
  • History of depression or past suicide attempts
  • Belief in rigid gender roles and hostility toward women
  • Desire for control or power in relationships
  • Economic stress, low educational attainment, and poor economic status
  • Lack of friends and social isolation
  • Low self-esteem
  • Poor behavioral control, impulsivity, and poor problem-solving skills

• Relationship factors:

  • Jealousy
  • Separation or divorce
  • Attempts to dominate the relationship
  • History of relationship violence in the family

• Community and societal factors:

  • Poverty
  • High unemployment rates
  • High crime rates
  • Easy access to drugs
  • Low community involvement
  • Cultural norms that support violence against women

Relationship Violence Warning Signs

• Accusing you of flirting or having an affair with others without evidence or reason
• Alcohol or substance misuse
• Attempts to isolate you from your family and friends
• Blaming external forces for problems, mood swings, and behaviors
• Controlling all of the household finances or financial abuse
• Extreme jealousy and possessiveness
• Extreme sensitivity to any type of emotional distress
• Mood swings and episodes of intense anger
• Talking about you in a demeaning way to other people
• Verbal abuse and threats of violence
• Very intense and quick involvement at the start of a relationship

Protective Factors Against Relationship Violence

• Positive relationships with other people
• Strong social support network
• Community involvement
• Safe and stable housing
• Access to medical and mental health services
• Community economic resources

If You're in an Abusive Relationship

• Develop a safety plan:

  • Identify a safe place to go
  • Tell someone you trust about the abuse
  • Keep a record of the abuse
  • Be prepared to call the police if necessary

• Reach out for help:

  • Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233
  • Contact your local domestic violence agency
  • Talk to a therapist or counselor

If You Know Someone in an Abusive Relationship

• Be supportive:

  • Listen to the person without judgment
  • Believe the person's story
  • Offer emotional support

• Help the person develop a safety plan:

  • Identify a safe place to go
  • Tell someone they trust about the abuse
  • Keep a record of the abuse
  • Be prepared to call the police if necessary

• Encourage the person to seek professional help:

  • Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233
  • Contact your local domestic violence agency
  • Talk to a therapist or counselor

Remember, you're not alone. There are people who can help you.