What Is Enabling? How to Recognize the Signs

Many times, family and friends attempt to "help" individuals with alcohol use disorders, inadvertently making it easier for them to progress in the disease. This phenomenon, known as enabling, can be destructive.

What Is Enabling? Enabling is allowing individuals with alcohol problems to continue their destructive behavior, confident they will always be rescued.

Signs of Enabling - Avoiding the Problem: Rather than discussing the behavior, you might avoid addressing it. - Denying the Problem: Despite recognizing the issue, you might convince yourself it's not severe. - Feeling Resentful: You might feel resentful for having to protect your loved one from the consequences of their behavior. - Ignoring or Tolerating the Behavior: You might try to ignore signs of problematic behavior or make excuses for it. - Making Excuses or Covering for Them: You might make excuses or cover up their behavior to protect them from consequences. - Providing Financial Support: Enabling can involve providing financial assistance that perpetuates the problematic behavior. - Putting Their Needs Above Your Own: You might ignore your own needs to care for the other person. - Taking Over Responsibilities: You might take over daily obligations that the other person cannot fulfill.

How to Stop Enabling - Explain the Problem: Make it clear that you are aware of the problem behavior and willing to support them in getting help. - Create Boundaries: Set and maintain clear boundaries and follow through when limits are violated. - Don't Offer Financial Assistance: By not financially supporting the addiction, the other person will need to become more self-reliant. - Let Them Face the Consequences: Allow the individual to face the consequences of their actions, which can help them realize the severity of the problem. - Make Tough Choices: Sometimes, difficult decisions are necessary, such as leaving the individual alone to face the consequences. - Get Help for Enabling: Consider seeking support from a therapist or counselor to address your enabling behaviors.

Getting Help for Enabling - Encourage Treatment: Encourage your loved one to seek treatment for their alcohol use disorder. - Join a Support Group: Joining a support group like Al-Anon or Nar-Anon can provide you with emotional support and guidance. - Seek Professional Help: Consider therapy or counseling to address your enabling behaviors and improve your well-being.