What to Know If Your Spouse or Partner Has ADHD

Having a partner with ADHD can bring challenges to a relationship. However, there are steps both partners can take to address these challenges and strengthen their bond.

Symptoms of Adult ADHD

• Inattention
• Distractibility
• Anxiety
• Taking longer to get things done
• Problems with time management
• Being "scattered"
• Forgetfulness
• Procrastination

Relationship Challenges Related to ADHD

• Conflict: The partner without ADHD may feel like they have to nag their partner constantly to ensure that tasks get completed. This can lead to feelings of anger, resentment, and shame.

• Emotional Outbursts: People with ADHD may have difficulty managing emotions, leading to angry outbursts or rudeness.

• Forgetfulness: A partner with ADHD may forget important information, leading to feelings of unreliability or indifference.

• Impulsivity: Someone with ADHD might say things without thinking them through, leading to arguments or hurt feelings. Impulsivity can also contribute to reckless behavior or irresponsible decisions.

• Misunderstandings: Undiagnosed ADHD makes it more challenging for people in relationships to understand one another.

ADHD Treatment May Improve Relationships

Treatment options for ADHD may include:

• Medication: Stimulant and non-stimulant medications can help manage ADHD symptoms.

• Skills Training: Helping people develop strategies to manage their symptoms more effectively.

• Psychotherapy: Different types of psychotherapy can help change negative thought patterns and improve communication within the relationship.

• Psychoeducation: Learning more about ADHD can help people understand how it affects their behavior and relationships.

Advice for Partners

• Learn About ADHD: Understanding how ADHD can affect your partner and your relationship can help reduce frustration and build empathy.

• Offer Encouragement: Praise and encourage your partner when they make progress toward a goal.

• Don't Parent Your Partner: Avoid taking over all of the household and personal tasks, as this can create an imbalanced relationship.

• Work on Communication: Be open and honest with one another about your concerns and feelings.

A Word From Verywell

Even if your spouse with ADHD is not ready to seek treatment, you can still get help for yourself. A trained mental health professional can help you better understand your spouse's ADHD symptoms and give you the tools you need to cope healthily.