Perfectionism: 10 Signs You Might Be One

Perfectionism is the drive to appear, feel, and be perfect. While society generally views perfectionism as a positive attribute, it also can have negative effects.

A perfectionist has "excessively high personal standards and overly critical self-evaluations." They insist on perfection and accept nothing shy of flawlessness. This can manifest as criticism of self and others and in attempts to control situations and people.

Signs of Perfectionism:

1. All-or-Nothing Thinking: Perfectionists set lofty goals and accept nothing less than perfection. "Almost perfect" is seen as a failure.

2. Being Highly Critical: Perfectionists are highly critical of themselves and others, honing in on imperfections and struggling to see anything else.

3. Feeling Pushed By Fear: Perfectionists are pushed by a fear of anything less than a perfectly met goal.

4. Having Unrealistic Standards: Perfectionists set goals that may not be reasonable, often rejecting success because they feel their actions are never good enough.

5. Focusing Only on Results: Perfectionists are so concerned with hitting the goal and avoiding failure that they can't enjoy the process of growing and striving.

6. Feeling Depressed by Unmet Goals: Perfectionists tend to beat themselves up and wallow in negative feelings when their high expectations go unmet.

7. Fear of Failure: Perfectionists have a greater fear of failure than high achievers.

8. Procrastination: Perfectionists may procrastinate due to fear of failure and immobilization.

9. Defensiveness: Perfectionists often respond defensively to constructive criticism.

10. Low Self-Esteem: Perfectionists often have low self-esteem due to their critical nature and unrealistic expectations.

Causes of Perfectionism:

• Early childhood experiences
• Parenting styles
• Societal and cultural expectations
• Mental health conditions

Pitfalls of Perfectionism:

• Increased stress and anxiety
• Eating disorders
• Relationship problems
• Sleep disturbances
• Psychological distress

Overcoming Perfectionism:

• Create an accepting environment
• Engage in positive self-talk
• Practice mindfulness
• Use cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) techniques

Healthy vs. Unhealthy Perfectionism:

• Healthy: Drives people to perform their best
• Unhealthy: Leads to stress, anxiety, low self-esteem, and other negative outcomes

Additional Information:

• Perfectionism is not always a bad thing. In fact, it can be helpful in some situations. For example, perfectionism can drive people to achieve great things. However, it can also be a problem when it leads to anxiety, depression, and other negative consequences.

• If you think you might be a perfectionist, there are many things you can do to overcome this trait. Some of the most effective strategies include creating an accepting environment, engaging in positive self-talk, practicing mindfulness, and using cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) techniques.

• If you are struggling with perfectionism, it is important to seek professional help. A therapist can help you identify the root of your perfectionism and develop strategies for overcoming it.