Moving and Depression in Children

Moving can be a challenging experience for children, especially when it involves changing schools or dealing with family restructuring. This transition can trigger feelings of depression, making it important to be aware of the potential impact and have a plan in place to support your child's emotional well-being.

1. Minimize School Changes:

Changing schools can be particularly difficult for elementary and middle school children. Moving to a more advanced curriculum can overwhelm them, leading to academic struggles and damaging their self-esteem. These effects can be long-lasting and may hinder their ability to form meaningful relationships in adulthood. If possible, try to keep your child in the same school or district to minimize disruptions to their education and social circle.

2. Provide Stability During Family Restructuring:

Moving due to divorce or family restructuring can trigger feelings of insecurity, isolation, or anger in children. To provide a sense of stability during this transition, maintain your child's routine as much as possible. This includes maintaining regular bedtimes, mealtimes, and extracurricular activities. Additionally, encourage open communication and allow your child to express their feelings and concerns.

3. Facilitate Connection with Old Friends:

While making new friends is important, maintaining connections with old friends is also crucial for children. Encourage your child to stay in touch with their old friends through phone calls, video chats, or social media. This will help them feel connected to their previous support system and reduce feelings of loneliness and isolation.

4. Consult a Healthcare Provider if Needed:

If you notice signs of depression or significant behavioral changes in your child after moving, consult with their healthcare provider promptly. A physician can determine the cause of these symptoms and recommend appropriate treatment, if necessary. Early identification and intervention for depression in children are essential to prevent long-term consequences.

5. Take Active Steps as a Parent:

• Involve Your Child in the Moving Process: Include your child in discussions about your plans. Show them photos of the new house and explain the reasons for the move.
• Empower Your Child with Decision-Making: Empower your child with age-appropriate decisions related to the move. For example, let them choose how to decorate their bedroom or select a new school backpack.
• Encourage Communication and Validate Feelings: Encourage your child to talk about their feelings and validate their emotions. Let them know that it's okay to feel sad, angry, or scared.
• Suggest Joining Groups and Activities: Encourage your child to join groups or activities in their new community. This could include school clubs, sports teams, or community organizations. This will help them meet new people and build a support system.
• Reassure Them about Continuity: Point out things that will remain the same after the move, such as their pets, favorite toys, or family traditions. Remind them that they can stay in touch with faraway friends through phone calls or video chats.
• Spend Quality Time with Your Child: Make sure to set aside time each day to spend quality time with your child. This could involve playing games, reading stories, or simply talking about their day.
• Consider Counseling if Needed: If your child is struggling with significant emotional distress or additional stressors accompany the move, consider seeking professional counseling. A therapist can help your child develop coping mechanisms and strategies to manage their emotions.

6. Recognize Relocation Depression:

Although not specifically listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), relocation depression shares similar symptoms with depression. It can manifest in withdrawal, unexplained crying, clinging to a parent, feelings of guilt, loss of interest, declining academic performance, thoughts of self-harm, unexplained physical complaints, changes in appetite and weight, and sleep problems. While it's normal for children to need extra attention during this transition, it's important to seek professional help if symptoms persist or become severe.

A Word From Verywell

Moving can be a stressful and even traumatic experience for children. It's important to be attentive to signs of depression and seek professional help promptly if you suspect it's developing. With proper support and intervention, children can successfully adapt to a new environment and overcome the challenges associated with moving.