Our top pick for the best place to find relationship advice for married couples is Regain. For engaged couples, Couples Learn is a great choice, offering a comprehensive library of resources to help couples improve their relationships. However, if you identify as LGBTQIA+, you may prefer The Expansive Group, which will match you with a therapist from the community.
Online relationship support involves services designed to help couples enhance their relationships by strengthening communication, fostering emotional bonding, resolving conflicts, and addressing challenges they may face. This typically includes online couples counseling with a licensed relationship therapist, but other options are also available. Many websites also offer coaching, conducted by professionals without therapy licenses, though licensed therapists may also offer coaching as a way to work with clients in states they are not licensed in. (Online therapy can only be provided to clients in the same state the therapist is licensed in.) Additionally, several online relationship support sites offer self-led courses, webinars, assessment tools, and scientific research on relationships and couples counseling.
Modern couples therapy, often employing Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), boasts a success rate of approximately 75%. This does not imply that 75% of couples simply stayed together; instead, success is measured using the Dyadic Adjustment Scale (DAS), a questionnaire that assesses relationship contentment. Since its introduction in 1976, when couples therapy had a success rate of only 50%, the DAS has demonstrated significant improvement in the effectiveness of couples therapy. Whether due to advancements in therapy techniques or societal changes in gender roles and dynamics, couples therapy is more effective than ever before.
According to our resident expert, Nic Hardy, PhD, LCSW, a therapist and relationship coach based in Texas, "couples counseling can be incredibly beneficial, providing a safe and non-judgmental environment for two people to process their thoughts, feelings, and emotions. It is valuable because the therapist is an objective third party with professional training. This minimizes the risk of personal biases or the infusion of personal opinions. Even if the therapist reinforces what has already been stated, hearing it from someone different can serve as the catalyst for positive change. However, couples counseling only works if the couple puts in the effort. Simply showing up for sessions without doing the work in between will not yield results."
Seeking advice about your relationship can be a significant step for a couple, as it may indicate a recognition that the current state of the relationship is not entirely satisfactory. Working with a relationship therapist or coach can help you and your partner identify issues, determine a suitable approach to address them, and develop a strategy to achieve your relationship goals.
Couples may need to seek relationship advice if they recognize issues such as poor communication, frequent arguments, lack of intimacy, difficulty dealing with stress or grief, or a breach of trust.
However, seeking relationship advice does not necessarily indicate that your relationship is in jeopardy. Even if your relationship is healthy, seeking new ways to proactively work together through issues as individuals and as a couple can strengthen the foundation of your bond and help protect your relationship from future distress.
Relationship therapy from a licensed couples counselor typically employs EFT, a proven effective form of relationship therapy. However, there are exceptions; for instance, couples in abusive relationships would benefit more from abuse-specific therapy. Additionally, traditional relationship therapy is geared towards couples who intend to stay together. If your relationship problems have led you to question whether you should remain together, discernment counseling might be a better option to evaluate your relationship.
"The most suitable type of therapy for relationship problems depends heavily on the specific issue. Different challenges require different counseling techniques," explains Dr. Hardy.
"However, some commonly used techniques include solution-focused therapy, emotion-focused therapy, and cognitive behavioral therapy. When there is a specific problem and couples are working on a short-term basis, solution-focused therapy allows them to streamline their efforts to address the issue. Minimal time is spent on external influences, mitigating factors, historical context, etc.," says Dr. Hardy.
"Emotion-focused therapy is also popular among couples. This approach enables individuals to understand their emotions, attachments, and overall influence in the context of their relational problems. It can enhance an individual's awareness and ability to empathize with their partner. Cognitive behavior therapy is common in individual therapy, but often, couples subscribe to cognitive distortions and unhealthy thought patterns that skew their perception," says Dr. Hardy.
When considering your options for online relationship support, there are several factors to consider:
How much are you willing to pay for therapy? Will you use insurance or pay out-of-pocket? The cost of online relationship support varies widely, ranging from self-led courses for less than $100 to intensive online therapy weekends that can cost $4500 or more. Determining your budget for therapy can help narrow down your choices.
Do you prefer weekly recurring sessions? Or would a 3-day intensive sound better? Do you and your partner plan on attending separately or together? Would a self-led program with flexible participation be preferable to a more structured schedule? There are many different scheduling options available, and you may already have a clear preference. Alternatively, you may want to experiment with different scheduling styles to find what works best for you.