Ketamine Meditation: A Personal Account

Invitation and Initial Apprehensions:

• An invitation to a ketitation event in Los Angeles sparked my curiosity. The concept involved taking ketamine lozenges during a guided meditation.
• However, my history of severe depression and the unconventional name, ketitation, initially caused skepticism and reservation.
• A previous experience with medicated meditation using cannabis had left me feeling uncomfortable, further fueling my apprehensions.

Arrival and Social Anxiety:

• Upon my arrival at the venue, a yoga studio, I felt a sense of introversion and anxiety, leading to a desire to avoid interactions.
• Strategically, I arrived late, found a secluded spot, and studiously avoided eye contact with other attendees.
• Ordinarily comfortable engaging with others, this disconnect triggered past feelings of exclusion and isolation.

Overcoming Skepticism and Embracing Openness:

• Recognizing the potential benefits, I resolved to approach the experience with an open mind, setting aside my skepticism.
• Rather than seeking humor as a coping mechanism, I chose to embrace my discomfort and fully engage in the activity.

Safety and Neuroscience:

• A physician assistant provided an informative explanation of the neuroscience behind ketamine's impact on neuroplasticity.
• The emphasis on safety measures, such as lower dosing, screening high-risk individuals, and requiring an "ally" during the session, reassured me.

Contrasting Lozenge and IV Ketamine:

• I compared my experience with ketamine lozenges to previous IV ketamine infusions.
• The lozenge format produced milder dissociation, akin to floating through the cosmos rather than complete ego dissolution.
• Unlike IV ketamine, the lozenge format enabled a contained experience while still allowing for interaction with others.

Combining Medication and Meditation:

• Guided meditation prepared participants for their journeys, focusing on setting intentions and employing deep breathing exercises to activate the parasympathetic nervous system.
• Holding the ketamine lozenges in my mouth added a layer of complexity to the breathing exercises.

Inner Experience and Connection:

• During the session, despite my initial anxiety, I felt a sense of connection with others.
• I recognized that my instinctive reaction to recoil when someone touched me symbolized my tendency to avoid connection.
• As a therapist, I believe that depression and anxiety can stem from disconnection from self and others.

Group Setting: Validation and Sharing Insights:

• The group setting provided validation for my experiences and allowed me to share insights with others who understood ketamine's effects.
• Discussing the journey with someone who shared my enthusiasm for ketamine was comforting and relatable.

Impact of Meditation on Default Mode Networks:

• Research suggests that both ketamine and meditation affect the default mode networks in our brains, linked to our internal thoughts and processing during rest.
• Dysregulation of the default mode network has been associated with depression, and ketamine and meditation have been found to decrease its activity, potentially altering thought patterns.

Combating Loneliness and Isolation:

• In modern society, many individuals experience disconnection and loneliness, despite being surrounded by others.
• Depression can intensify feelings of meaninglessness, while ketamine and other psychedelics have been suggested to foster a sense of oneness with the universe.
• The group meditation helped me hold onto the feeling of not being alone, despite my personal circumstances.

Overall Reflection:

• The ketitation event provided a unique opportunity to combine the benefits of ketamine and meditation in a controlled and supportive setting.
• While the experience alone did not resolve my depression, it offered valuable insights and a sense of community.
• I see the potential of ketamine-assisted therapy, especially when combined with meditation to enhance its effects.