Splitting in Borderline Personality Disorder

Splitting is a psychological defense mechanism involving an individual's inability to hold contradictory thoughts, feelings, or beliefs. It is commonly seen in individuals with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD).

Definition

Splitting is a psychological phenomenon characterized by the tendency to perceive things in extremes, often with little room for nuance or shades of gray.

Effects of Splitting

This defense mechanism allows individuals with BPD to easily discard things they classify as "bad" and embrace those they consider "good," even if those choices can be harmful or risky. Splitting can have a profoundly negative impact on relationships, leading to intense and self-destructive behaviors. It can ultimately result in:

• Difficulty maintaining stable relationships
• Difficulties managing emotions
• Impulsivity and reckless behavior
• Self-harm and suicidal tendencies
• Frequent feelings of emptiness and boredom

Examples

Some common examples of splitting behavior include:

• Viewing opportunities as either "no risk" or a "complete con"
• Categorizing people as either "evil" and "crooked" or "angels" and "perfect"
• Believing that science, history, or news is either a "complete fact" or a "complete lie"
• Labeling things as either "always" or "never"
• Reacting to negative situations with feelings of being "cheated," "ruined," or "screwed"

Symptoms

In BPD, splitting is characterized by a consistent and distorted pattern of behavior, typically accompanied by other symptoms, such as:

• Acting out (behaving without regard for consequences)
• Denial (consciously ignoring a fact or reality)
• Emotional hypochondriasis (attempting to convey the severity of emotional pain to others)
• Omnipotence (the belief that one possesses exceptional superiority in intelligence or power)
• Passive aggression (an indirect expression of hostility)
• Projection (assigning an undesirable emotion to someone else)
• Projective identification (denying own feelings, projecting them onto someone else, and then behaving towards that person in a way that forces them to respond with the feelings projected onto them)

Diagnosis and Management

Understanding the diagnosis and comprehensive management of BPD can provide insight into behaviors like splitting associated with the condition.

Diagnosis A diagnosis of BPD can only be made by a qualified mental health professional. To establish a diagnosis, the doctor would need to confirm five of nine symptoms outlined in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5-TR), including:

• A distorted view of oneself that affects emotions, values, moods, and relationships
• Anger issues, such as violent outbursts followed by intense guilt and remorse
• Extreme attempts to avoid abandonment or intense feelings of abandonment
• Extreme depression, anxiety, or irritability that can last for hours or days
• Feeling dissociated from oneself, including paranoia and amnesia
• Feeling persistently empty or bored
• Impulsive behavior, such as substance abuse or reckless driving
• Intense and tumultuous relationships characterized by splitting
• Suicidal thoughts and/or self-harming behaviors

Care and Management Managing a loved one with BPD, especially when symptoms are severe, can be a challenging and complex endeavor. The approach should be tailored to the specific relationship and the impact their symptoms have on the family. However, some guiding principles may be helpful:

• Cultivate Empathy: Recognize that splitting is an inherent part of the disorder. These actions are defense mechanisms resorted to when they feel defenseless.

• Encourage and Support Treatment: Appropriate treatment can significantly improve the quality of life for individuals with BPD. This may include medication and/or therapy, most commonly dialectical behavior therapy (DBT). Encourage them to start or continue with treatment, educate yourself about their condition, and participate in therapy sessions when necessary.

• Maintain Open Communication: Discuss situations as they arise, rather than accumulating multiple issues. Failure to communicate can exacerbate the individual's fear of rejection.

• Reassure Your Loved One of Your Care: Individuals with BPD often have an intense fear of rejection or abandonment. Knowing someone cares for them can often help reduce splitting behavior.

• Set Boundaries: While supporting a loved one with BPD is important, it is crucial to avoid becoming a target of abuse. Always set limits with a loved one who has BPD. If those limits are crossed, calmly explain why you are stepping back. Setting boundaries helps preserve the relationship rather than straining it.

• Take Care of Yourself: Prioritize your own well-being and mental health. Consider finding your own therapist to help you balance your needs along with those of your loved one.

• Manage Your Response: Remember that you are in a better position to control your temper if your loved one has BPD. Shouting or engaging in hostile behavior will only worsen the situation.

• Get Help Now: Explore online therapy programs that offer support and guidance for individuals dealing with BPD.

Safety

In severe cases, more drastic action may be necessary. If the relationship is negatively impacting your family, work, and well-being, you may need to acknowledge that the relationship cannot continue.