How to Stop Enabling Someone with Alcohol Use Disorder

Understanding Enabling vs. Helping

• Enabling: Doing something for someone that they could and would do for themselves if they were sober.
• Helping: Doing something that the person could not or would not do for themselves if they were sober.
• Enabling protects the person from the consequences of their actions.

Why Do People Enable Alcoholics?

• Genuine desire to be helpful
• Codependency
• Coping mechanism

How to Stop Enabling an Alcoholic

Dos

• Offer support for recovery efforts.
• Set boundaries.
• Let the person deal with consequences.
• Don't make excuses.

Don'ts

• Don't give them a safety net.
• Don't do things they can do themselves.
• Don't make excuses.
• Don't take on all the responsibilities.
• Don't loan or give money.
• Don't save them from legal trouble.
• Don't scold, argue, or plead.
• Don't react.
• Don't try to drink with them.
• Don't be afraid to set boundaries and stick to them.

What Happens When You Stop Enabling an Alcoholic?

• They may seek help.
• There are no guarantees.
• Learning more about enabling and Al-Anon can be helpful.