How to Stop Being Selfish

Selfishness is a negative habit that can have serious consequences, such as damaging relationships and leaving you feeling isolated and lonely. If you're ready to change, here are six strategies to help you become less selfish:

1. Evaluate Your Behaviors:

• Identify areas where you may be acting selfishly, whether it's with your time, resources, or attention.
• Once you pinpoint the problem, you can start making changes.

2. Pay Attention to Others:

• Practice active listening by giving others your full attention, maintaining good eye contact, and asking open-ended questions.
• Show interest in their lives and let them know you care.

3. Increase Empathy:

• See things from other people's perspectives and focus on things beyond your own needs.
• Imagine how you would feel in their position.
• Spend more time interacting with them and find common ground.

4. Watch for Cognitive Biases:

• Be aware of thinking errors that can lead to poor decision-making and selfish behavior.
• Consider different ways of seeing situations to reduce bias and selfishness.

5. Volunteer to Help Others:

• Turn your focus outward by volunteering your time and effort to a cause or organization you care about.
• Helping others can lead to increased social support, resilience, happiness, and a reduced focus on self.

6. Show Gratitude:

• Practice gratitude by focusing on the positive aspects of your life and appreciating the good things you have.
• One strategy is keeping a gratitude journal.

Characteristics of Selfish People vs. Selfless People

| Selfish | Selfless | | Materialistic | Generous | | Self-promoting | Altruistic | | Grandiose sense of self | Humble | | Lack empathy | Empathetic | | Disregard for consequences | Conscientious | | Unkind | Kind | | Entitled | Grateful | | Self-absorbed | Charitable |

Potential Causes of Being Selfish

• Genetics: Some people are more prone to selfishness due to their genetic makeup.
• Upbringing: Selfishness can be learned from family members or adult mentors who emphasize materialism and self-centeredness.
• Stress: When dealing with stress or trauma, self-protection instincts can lead to selfish behavior.

Benefits of Being Less Selfish

• Better relationships: By focusing on others, you can strengthen your relationships and build trust.
• Less stress: Helping others and showing care can reduce stress and improve your overall well-being.
• Greater happiness: Selflessness is associated with increased happiness and life satisfaction.
• Higher self-esteem: When you help others, you feel good about yourself and boost your self-esteem.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is being selfish a mental illness?

• Selfishness can be a sign of narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), characterized by self-centeredness, a lack of empathy, and a grandiose sense of self.

Is it ever good to be selfish?

• Selfishness can be beneficial in situations where self-care is necessary to prevent burnout or neglect of your own needs. However, excessive selfishness can be harmful.

A Word From Verywell

Selfishness can harm relationships and your well-being. By recognizing selfish behaviors and working to become less selfish, you can experience the benefits of healthier relationships, reduced stress, increased happiness, and higher self-esteem.