Self-Respect: Importance, Influences, and Strategies for Improvement

According to the American Psychological Association, self-respect refers to a healthy regard for one's character, values, and dignity. It reflects your sense of worth and self-esteem.

Judith Zackson, PhD, Founder and Clinical Director of Zackson Psychology Group, emphasizes the importance of self-respect and its influence on various aspects of your life, including thoughts, values, emotions, commitments, and behaviors.

Benefits of Self-Respect:

• Internal Happiness: People with self-respect find happiness and fulfillment within themselves, rather than relying on external validation or comparing themselves to others.

• Upholding Personal Values: Individuals with self-respect have a set of morals and values that guide their character and actions, and they are committed to upholding these values, even in challenging situations.

• Establishing Boundaries: Self-respect empowers individuals to set limits and defend them when necessary. It helps command respect from others as well.

• Strong Sense of Dignity: Respecting oneself means having a strong sense of dignity and honor for one's person and position, valuing it at all times.

Pitfalls of Low Self-Respect:

• Relying on External Validation: Individuals with low self-respect seek validation from others rather than defining themselves. They prioritize others' opinions over their own, leading to inauthenticity and a constant need for external approval.

• Meaningless Life: People lacking self-respect may disregard their intrinsic values and the meaning of their lives. They may engage in impulsive, irresponsible, and self-destructive behaviors.

• Negative Self-View: Low self-respect can lead to a negative self-view, resulting in self-defeating behaviors such as negative self-talk and self-criticism.

• Unhealthy Relationships: A balanced sense of self-respect is crucial for maintaining healthy relationships. The lack of it can lead to difficulty in setting boundaries and enduring unhealthy situations, such as abusive or manipulative relationships.

Influences on Self-Respect:

• Childhood Experiences: Children develop a sense of self-respect largely based on their experiences with their parents or caregivers. Parental love, appreciation, and unconditional acceptance foster a positive sense of self-worth in children.

• Adult Experiences: Factors like relationships, work, and life experiences in adulthood also contribute to one's sense of self-respect, shaping their self-efficacy and self-confidence.

Strategies for Improving Self-Respect:

• Identify Your Values: Understand your core values and what is truly important to you. This helps you focus on internal qualities rather than external factors.

• Focus on Internal Qualities: Self-respect is about your character, morals, values, and actions, not external factors like wealth, appearance, or social status.

• Accept Yourself: Embrace self-acceptance by recognizing your strengths, values, and flaws. Forgive yourself for past mistakes and let go of harsh self-criticism.

• Challenge Negative Thoughts: Pay attention to negative thought patterns and challenge them rationally. Replace self-doubt with self-compassion.

• Don't Give in to Self-Doubt: Develop a strong sense of self-worth and remind yourself of your value and dignity, regardless of your achievements or failures.

Self-respect is a fundamental aspect of your identity. It impacts your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors, as well as your relationships and overall well-being. If you struggle with low self-respect, there are steps you can take to improve it. Consider seeking support from a mental healthcare provider who can help you identify your values, challenge negative thought patterns, set boundaries, and develop self-love and respect.