What to Do When You Feel Like Running Away

You're not alone. Imagining about running away, or coming close to actually doing so, is probably more prevalent than you think. At its core, running away is an escape—a way to escape our present world—a world that is not serving us in the way that we desire.

Maybe you feel stuck or bored and are yearning for a renewed sense of vitality. Or perhaps you're feeling restless about your relationships, dissatisfied with your job, or totally overwhelmed with your day-to-day responsibilities.

Whatever the case may be, in most circumstances, the best solution isn't to literally run. After all, the solution to our current unhappiness probably doesn't exist in another part of the world. Instead of getting swept up in the fantasy of escape, we must instead do some reflective self-exploration to get to the core of the issue.

This article covers why people sometimes want to run away, why running away is not the best solution, and how to cope with and overcome the feeling of wanting to escape.

At the End of the Day...

We are wired to avoid discomfort or pursue pleasure. So when things get complicated or overwhelming, ditching the stress of those feelings and starting anew (even figuratively) allows us to temporarily detach ourselves from those uncomfortable feelings and realities.

Bianca L. Rodriguez, Ed.M, LMFT, founder of You Are Complete, says:

"Running away often feels like the best solution to stop the pain we feel. It can feel like the only solution, and the relief we believe we'll feel by running away is very alluring."

Laura Rhodes-Levin, LMFT, founder of The Missing Peace Center for Anxiety, agrees. She notes that it can be tough for your brain to separate reality from fantasy. Also, when you fantasize, you release similar endorphins and neurotransmitters that would be released if you genuinely did live your fantasy.

According to Rhodes-Levin:

"No one does well when they feel trapped and powerless. These fantasies can give you a sense of control and choice."

Why Actually Running Away Isn't a Good Solution

For some, the idea of escaping their world is exactly that—an idea. However, some people might find themselves seriously considering dropping everything and running away to start anew. Except in very rare scenarios, actually running away isn't a good idea. In fact, it can be counterproductive.

Not only does running away press pause on fixing the core issue, but it can also damage your relationships—including the relationship with yourself.

Rodriguez notes:

"Your ability to feel safe with another is a direct reflection of how safe you feel within yourself to handle difficult situations."

She notes that relationships are the arena we grow in because our closest relationships bring up all our core issues, creating an opportunity for us to heal them. It's a beautiful thing, even if it's not the easiest.

Running away also isn't a long-term solution in situations when our desire to flee is due to boredom or feeling overwhelmed. We must figure out why we feel the way we do and then take the time to address the issue.

In some scenarios, it might make sense to leave your situation. This includes any time you feel you're emotionally or physically unsafe, are being exploited, or when your boundaries aren't being respected.

How to Combat Feelings of "I Want to Run Away"

While it's okay to let those escapism fantasies play out in our minds sometimes, we ultimately need to get to the core of the issue to find long-term relief. Here are some things to try if you have an urge to run away.

Get to the Bottom of Chronic Escape Fantasies

Do some self-inquiry to determine what inside you is triggering your impulsive desire to run away. Is this a pattern in relationships? Feeling overwhelmed at work? Unhappy with your current life trajectory? If the answer to these questions is "yes," Rodriguez recommends seeking a therapist who can help heal the underlying wounds.

A 2017 study published in Cognitive Therapy and Research warns us that avoiding these triggers and emotions can