In modern language, "they/them" pronouns serve two main purposes. Firstly, they act as neutral pronouns when the gender identity of an individual is unknown or irrelevant. For example, saying, "Someone left their bag here—I wonder if they need it?" is a common way to address such a situation.
Secondly, "they/them" pronouns have become increasingly used as an alternative set of pronouns for individuals, replacing traditional gendered pronouns. This practice, recognized as Merriam-Webster's Word of the Year in 2019, has a long history dating back to the 14th century.
When someone chooses to use "they/them" pronouns, it's essential to honor their preference and address them accordingly. This demonstrates respect and validates their gender identity, which can have a positive impact on their mental health.
Individuals who use "they/them" pronouns may identify as nonbinary, gender expansive, transgender, bigender, or gender non-conforming. It is important to recognize that making assumptions about a person's gender based on their appearance can be inaccurate and harmful.
Pronouns are essential for creating positive and respectful interactions. Using the correct pronouns validates and affirms a person's gender identity, enhancing their well-being. Conversely, using incorrect pronouns can have detrimental effects on an individual's mental health.
Anyone can find comfort and a sense of identity in using "they/them" pronouns. Nonbinary individuals, in particular, often embrace these gender-neutral pronouns. Beyond this group, anyone who does not identify strictly as male or female might adopt "they/them" pronouns. Individuals transitioning genders might also use these pronouns during their journey.
There are four primary gendered pronouns: "she/her," "he/him," "they/them," and neo-pronouns like "ze/zir" and "ey/em." The latter two categories are non-gendered, encompassing a broader range of gender identities.
The best way to learn someone's pronouns is to ask respectfully. Questions like "What are your pronouns?" or "What pronouns do you use?" are straightforward and considerate. Avoiding the term "preferred" acknowledges that gender identities are intrinsic and not a matter of preference.
Mistakes happen, and when it comes to pronouns, responding appropriately is crucial. Collaborate Consulting recommends the A.C.M. method:
No further explanation is necessary.
To deepen your understanding of "they/them" pronouns, consider exploring educational materials:
Coming to terms with pronoun usage can be challenging, especially for LGBTQIA+ individuals. Support groups and resources are available to provide guidance and community.
Using "they/them" pronouns is a practice that promotes respect, validation, and understanding of gender identity. As an effective ally, familiarize yourself with these pronouns and their significance.