Signs Your Partner May Not Be Sexually Attracted to You

In a healthy relationship, attraction is a key component. However, what happens when the attraction fades? What are the indications that your spouse or partner is no longer sexually attracted to you?

For a relationship to flourish, several elements are essential:

Love: This maintains the connection, tenderness, and care that brought you and your partner together.

Trust: A solid foundation for any relationship, it fosters a sense of security between partners.

Attraction: Passion and excitement fuel the fire in a successful relationship.

These elements work together to keep a relationship going, and it's difficult to prioritize one over the other. Feeling an electrifying thrill from your partner's smile, the way clothes fit your body, or watching them work in their element is a feeling that's hard to replace.

At a Glance This article examines certain behaviors that may indicate a decline in your partner's attraction towards you. These signs can include reduced sexual frequency, increased time spent apart, diminished intimacy and romance, and increased arguments. If your partner exhibits these traits, the article offers tips to rekindle the spark in your relationship.

Signs That Your Partner May Not Find You Attractive

Let's explore some signs that your partner's attraction towards you may have diminished.

Reduced Sexual Frequency

One of the first indicators of your partner's feelings about your physical relationship is your sex life.

Questions to Ask Yourself Are you having less sex?

Do they seem less affectionate?

Has foreplay changed significantly?

Do you and your partner communicate after sessions to compare notes?

Married couples, in particular, may experience a decrease in sexual activity over time. A population study revealed a considerable decline in the frequency of sex among couples per week.

A sudden change in the frequency of sex with your partner could indicate a shift in their attraction towards you.

Additionally, a lack of intimacy during foreplay or the complete absence of this act during sex could be another warning sign.

In some cases, the frequency of sex may remain unchanged, but the manner in which your partner engages in it may have significantly changed. Sex may start to feel routine, like a checkbox to be ticked in your relationship. The passion, conversation, and intimacy that once followed your lovemaking may be gone.

Your Partner Spends More Time Away From You

If your partner starts spending more time away from you or the home you share, it can understandably be concerning.

However, spending less time together may not always be a cause for alarm. They may simply want some alone time and find it difficult to share without triggering your fears.

However, if they repeatedly make excuses for not meeting you, and when you do spend time together, it's usually brief and lacks real intimacy, this could signal a waning attraction towards you.

They Are Putting Less Effort Into the Relationship

A truly painful indicator that your partner no longer finds you attractive is the minimal effort they put into the relationship. Terms of endearment may be dropped, planning activities together may be a thing of the past, and even getting them to respond to your texts may become a challenge.

This can be particularly hurtful, especially if your partner was diligent in making you feel special early in the relationship.

Intimacy Becomes Familial

In some cases, your partner may do all the right things: calling you frequently during the day to give updates, planning movie dates, or setting aside a day for a fancy dinner during the week.

The problem is, it feels more like you are dealing with a sibling than someone you would prefer to remain intimate with.

While the friendship and trust remain in the relationship, the spark that shows your partner's exclusive desire for you and their willingness to keep the flame alive is noticeably missing.

Understandably, infatuation may not always be the most lasting reaction your partner produces. However, when your significant other begins to lose their attachment and desire for you, it may threaten the future of your relationship.

Increased Arguments

If your partner becomes more irritable towards you and never misses an opportunity to quarrel about big or small issues in your relationship, this may indicate not only a waning attraction but also a more significant problem for the continuation of the relationship.

How to Rekindle Attraction in Your Relationship

Acknowledging that your partner may no longer be attracted to you can be painful. However, this realization may be the key to turning your relationship back on track.

Below are some tips to help your partner rediscover their attraction towards you:

Have an Open Conversation

In addition to love, trust, and attraction, communication is a vital bedrock of a relationship that cannot be taken for granted.

Talk to your partner openly and honestly about the changes you have noticed in their attraction towards you. Find out how they view you and if your behavior has changed to an extent that may be causing them to pull away.

While this may be easier said than done, especially since communication during challenges is particularly difficult for couples, hearing things directly from your partner may reveal certain traits that you were unaware of and that could have affected your intimacy.

It's important to note that finding the right way to communicate with your partner during this period is crucial for properly discussing your concerns.

As much as possible, avoid accusatory statements or speaking when tempers are high. An open, honest conversation should be the goal when discussing things with your partner.

Spend Some Time Apart

It might seem counterproductive to keep away from your partner when you want them to look more closely and feel something with you, but this change may be exactly what your relationship needs.

By taking the time to go on solo trips for yourself and encouraging your partner to take a vacation with family and friends, you may give them the opportunity to miss you. This could also give you a chance to rediscover yourself.

Time apart doesn't mean staying completely away from your significant other. Check in from time to time to avoid alienating them.

You may use this period to spice up your relationship digitally through virtual or phone calls. This might offer a change from your usual interactions and could help improve their attraction for you.

Go Back to the Basics of Romance

With your partner's indulgence, you can take your relationship back to the early days by doing all the things you and your lover engaged in while dating.

Take the time to go on dates, take extra care with your appearance, and write intimate love letters to each other. Going on movie dates, taking cooking classes together, or partaking in other intimate couple activities like a pottery class could help offer a needed intimacy change.

Keeping in close proximity and breaking from the routine of your relationship can help improve your partner's attraction to you.

Speak to a Therapist

In some cases, you may decide to seek professional help to intervene in your relationship challenges. Therapy is a great way to explore and improve any intimacy or attraction challenges you may be experiencing with your partner.

Different forms of therapy are available to address challenges with your partner, including cognitive existential couples therapy, couple-based cognitive-behavior therapy, and cognitive dialectical behavioral therapy. A professional can intervene in your relationship to help you work on your partner's attraction and identify the strengths and areas for improvement in your relationship.