Reduce Stress With Increased Assertiveness

Did you know that a highly overlooked method to reduce stress is through assertiveness? By learning to communicate more effectively, you can tackle obstacles that prevent you from expressing your feelings and fulfilling your needs.

The Benefits of Assertiveness:

• Less conflict in interactions
• Lower stress levels
• The ability to fulfill your needs and assist others in meeting theirs
• Stronger relationships with reliable support systems
• Higher self-esteem

Comparison with Other Communication Styles:

Assertiveness vs. Aggression: Assertiveness is about expressing your needs respectfully, while aggression involves disrespect, demeaning language, or abuse. Aggression alienates others and creates unnecessary stress.

Assertiveness vs. Passiveness: Passive individuals suppress their emotions to avoid conflict, neglecting their own needs. Passivity can lead to toxicity in relationships and explosive outbursts when emotions can no longer be contained.

Assertiveness vs. Passive-Aggressiveness: Passive-aggressive individuals appear passive but indirectly display aggression, sending mixed messages. This can also damage relationships.

Scenarios and Examples:

• Scenario A: Someone cuts in front of you at the supermarket.

  • Aggressive: "Hey, jerk! No cuts!"
  • Passive: Say nothing.
  • Passive-aggressive: Sigh loudly to show disgust.
  • Assertive: "Excuse me, but I was waiting to be helped."

• Scenario B: Your friend calls to vent about their bad day, but you're busy.

  • Aggressive: "Oh, get over it! I have my own problems!"
  • Passive: Let your friend talk endlessly and miss your deadline.
  • Passive-aggressive: Throw in subtle "jabs" during the conversation.
  • Assertive: "Wow, it sounds like you're having a tough day! I'd love to talk, but I don't have time right now. Can we chat later tonight?"

How to Become More Assertive:

1. Self-Assessment: Reflect on your communication style. Answer questions like:

   • Do you have trouble accepting constructive criticism?
   • Do you say yes to avoid disappointing people?
   • Do you struggle to express differing opinions?
   • Does your communication style alienate others?

2. Use "I" Statements:

   • Share your feelings without assigning blame. For example, "I feel like I am being attacked when I share my opinion with you."

3. Address Misconceptions:

   • Say, "The story I tell myself when you respond to my difference of opinion is that you don't like me if I don't think the same." This allows for corrections and understanding.