Reflecting on My ADHD Diagnosis: A Personal Journey

Throughout my career as a clinical psychologist specializing in neurodivergence, I've conducted many psychological assessments focusing on ADHD. However, it wasn't until recently that I realized I had ADHD myself. Reflecting on my life experiences, I've gained a newfound understanding of my challenges and strengths.

During my childhood, anxiety was my primary concern. In college, I was diagnosed with high-functioning anxiety and depression. Although I excelled academically, I struggled with managing my time, procrastinating, and retaining information, despite regular class attendance.

My anxiety intensified during my doctorate internship. I was prescribed Sertraline, which provided some relief. However, I continued to struggle with forgetfulness, difficulty switching tasks, and managing my time. In retrospect, I realize that ADHD was the underlying foundation of these difficulties, compounded by anxiety.

Growing up, I was perceived as neurotypical due to my academic achievements and ability to juggle many activities in high school. This perception masked the underlying struggles I faced daily.

Throughout college, I challenged myself with research, teaching, and internships, eventually pursuing a doctoral program. I received positive feedback from my supervisors, but I experienced anxiety when speaking up in class, fearing that my contributions might be inadequate. Using a laptop helped me divide my attention and retain information more effectively.

While working with clients with ADHD, I often wondered if everyone experienced similar difficulties with attention and memory. The thought that I might have ADHD seemed unlikely, as no one had ever mentioned it before, despite being surrounded by psychologists.

My internship and postdoc focused on working with children with learning disorders, autism, and ADHD. While I could relate to aspects of these disorders, the struggles these children faced, such as poor grades, didn't align with my experiences.

After obtaining my license and moving to South Dakota, the number of referrals for ADHD assessments increased significantly. This specialty found me rather than being a conscious choice on my part.

Typically, psychologists diagnose neurodivergence based on symptoms exhibited in early childhood. However, various factors can complicate identification. Gifted children are often perceived as fine, anxious children may mask their behaviors, and inattentive children might not appear to be struggling.

Observable behaviors play a significant role in diagnoses. Starting in April 2020, I noticed a surge in adult referrals for ADHD assessments, coinciding with lockdowns and work-from-home arrangements. Many individuals who had previously compensated for their neurodivergence found their old coping skills no longer effective.

As demands exceeded my resources and burnout took hold, I began to relate more deeply to my clients' experiences. I realized that I shared many of their challenges, including difficulty with attention, time management, and emotional regulation.

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