How to Tell If Someone Is Lying with Psychologist Paul Ekman

In this episode of The Verywell Mind Podcast, Amy Morin, LCSW, interviews Paul Ekman, a renowned psychologist and the world's leading expert on deception detection. They delve into the fascinating topic of lying and how to identify it.

Key Insights:

• Microexpressions:

  • These are brief, involuntary facial expressions that reveal a person's true feelings.
  • They can be difficult to detect due to their speed (1/25th of a second).

• Reasons for Lying:

  • People lie to avoid punishment or embarrassment, make themselves look better, or protect someone else.

• Lie Detection Accuracy:

  • Studies show that even trained lie detectors are only accurate about 50% of the time.
  • Overconfidence in our ability to detect deception can lead to mistakes.

• Consequences of Confrontation:

  • Consider the potential fallout before confronting a suspected liar. In some cases, it's better to let a lie go than to risk damaging a relationship.

• Motives for Improving Lie Detection:

  • Reflect on your reasons for wanting to become better at detecting lies. Ensure that your motivation is not rooted in a lack of trust or honesty.

• Optimism and Longevity:

  • Individuals who believe others are truthful tend to have longer lifespans.
  • Trust can promote overall well-being and reduce stress.

• Skepticism in Certain Professions:

  • Professionals in positions of trust (e.g., police officers, judges, doctors) should be skeptical of what people tell them.
  • Healthy skepticism can help uncover deception and protect others.

• Types of Lies Dr. Ekman Can Detect:

  • Dr. Ekman can detect lies told in person, but not those told in writing or over the phone.
  • Detecting deception is more challenging when the liar is skilled or has practiced their deception.

• Reasons for Believing Liars:

  • We often want to believe people who are lying.
  • We dislike the idea that someone we trust is capable of deception.

• Observing Facial Expressions, Body Language, and Vocal Cues:

  • To accurately detect deception, examine the person's facial expressions, body language, and vocal cues.
  • Look for inconsistencies between verbal and nonverbal communication.

Quotes from Dr. Ekman:

"Most often, we are misled because we don't want to know the truth."

"People who believe others are being truthful to them tend to live longer."

"Very often people are misled because they want to be misled and they're even unaware of the fact that they don't want to know the truth. It's too painful to learn."

"We don't tell the truth because we don't wanna offend someone. We don't want to hurt someone."

Additional Resources:

• Visit Dr. Ekman's website
• Sign up for a training on micro-expressions
• Check out Dr. Ekman's YouTube Channel

Related Episodes:

• How to Spot a Liar
• The Science of Lying
• How to Tell if Someone Is Lying