Can You Change Your Personality?

Many people desire changes in their personality traits. For instance, shy individuals may wish they were more outgoing and talkative, while hot-tempered individuals may wish they could remain calm in emotionally charged situations.

The question arises: Can you change your personality? Or are our basic personality patterns fixed throughout life? Self-help books and websites often offer plans for changing habits and behaviors, but many believe that our underlying personalities are resistant to change.

Sigmund Freud, an Austrian psychoanalyst, suggested that personality is largely set by the age of 5. Many modern psychologists also believe that overall personality is relatively stable throughout life.

However, if you desire change, the right approach and effort may lead to real personality changes. Undesirable traits that hinder goal achievement may not be permanent.

Factors Shaping Personality

To understand the potential for personality change, it is important to understand what causes personality. The age-old debate of nature versus nurture comes into play. Is personality shaped by genetics (nature) or by upbringing, experiences, and environment (nurture)?

Historically, theorists often focused on either nature or nurture. Today, most thinkers agree that a combination of both forces ultimately shapes personalities.

Furthermore, the interaction between genetics and the environment influences personality expression. For example, genetic predisposition to friendliness and laid-back behavior may be modified by a high-stress work environment, leading to short-temperedness.

Twin studies have provided evidence for the role of genetics. Identical twins, separated after birth and reared apart, have been found to share similar personalities, despite different environments.

However, other studies demonstrate that upbringing and culture interact with genetics to shape who we are.

"In-Between" Qualities of Personality

Some experts, like psychologist Carol Dweck, believe that changing behavior patterns, habits, and beliefs underlying broad personality traits (e.g., introversion, agreeableness) is key to personality change.

Broad traits may be stable, but Dweck believes that the "in-between" qualities that lie beneath these traits are more important in shaping who we are. These qualities, she suggests, can be changed.

"In-between" qualities that can potentially be changed include:

• Beliefs and belief systems: Changing underlying beliefs that shape personality expression is possible.
• Goals and coping strategies: Learning new coping skills and stress management techniques can modify personality expression.

Beliefs and Self-Beliefs

Changing beliefs can be challenging but offers a good starting point. Beliefs shape how we view ourselves, others, our daily lives, challenges, and connections with others.

Changes in beliefs can have a profound impact on behaviors and aspects of our personalities.

Dweck's research has shown that praising efforts rather than ability can have a positive impact on self-beliefs. Those praised for their efforts tend to view their intelligence as malleable, persist in the face of difficulty, and are more eager to learn.

Changing Your Personality

While changing broad traits may be difficult, experts suggest that certain aspects of personality can be modified. Here's how to approach personality change:

• Learn New Habits: Developing positive habits can replace problematic ones, leading to personality change.
• Challenge Self-Beliefs: Believing that personal attributes are changeable encourages efforts to change.
• Focus on Efforts: Praising efforts rather than innate abilities promotes a growth mindset and facilitates change.
• Act the Part: Engaging in desired behaviors, even if initially uncomfortable, can lead to lasting changes.

Conclusion

Personality change might be challenging, and changing some broad traits might not be fully possible. However, researchers believe that changing certain aspects of personality, the aspects beneath the broad traits, can result in real changes in behavior, thinking, and daily functioning.